If I lose, they’ll send me to the glue factory. Friday jokes. At this point, a fed up racehorse pokes his head round the corner and says "You're both, The first man says, "When I get up at 6:00 AM, it takes me a half hour to pee. ''Is that it?' There are some jockey neigh jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny horse jokes for kids of all ages, teens and adults who do not want to grow up. 3. ", I called him My Face. The man clutched his chest and fumbled for the telephone to call an ambulance, fearing that he was having a heart attack. Thanksgiving jokes. asks the donkey. The race begins and Lester is 30 lengths last after half a furlong, he gives the horse an almighty backhander on the behind, nothing, he then gives him a series of sharp slaps down the shoulder, nothing, he then gives him two wallops right on the bollocks, the horse comes to a sudden stop, turns round to Lester and says "for christ sake will you turn it in with that whip I have to be up at half four in the … "Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse." There was a race horse named Charlie that was doing really great and winning all his races. And then I suddenly felt a sting on my ass, I sprang forward and before I realized I fished the race 1st. The trial began in Lake Charles, Louisiana of a jockey accused of hiding his horse in dense fog to win a race at Evangeline Downs. Have fun with this collection of Funny Horse Jokes. Back to: Animal Jokes. It says it is July 7, the seventh day of the seventh month. The other horse said, "No kiddin' yesterday I was in a race and the same thing...I figured 'screw it', I ain't runnin' and half way around the track...WHOOSH! "What do you do for a living then?" Tomorrow’s the last race of my career. Doctor: Well everything seems to be fine, I guess this is the end of our appointment. "Oh right" says the donkey, "have you won any races then?". They sit down at the bar ask for a drink and start talking. The other horse says, “Funny, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters before the race that I won.” A dog walking by says, “You idiots, you’re being doped. The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. The old horse says, “Kid, I have a favor to ask. Horse race A man has a racehorse who never won a race. Joke of the day - The young male race horse came is the best Joke for Sunday, 16 August 2020 from site Smilezilla - The young male race horse came. Tommy looks at frank and says, "I don't know what it is frank. The owner of a racehorse is angry because the horse he paid so much money for has yet to win a race. The two sit down, order some nachos and wind up drinking a few beers by the end of the night. "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28! ''You think that's impressive?' One of them starts to boast about his track record. Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!" Feel free to go on. The cowboy wipes the … A: Fast Food. They were raised together and had been racing side by side their entire lives. Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him towards the edge of a cliff. Did you know that if you find a horseshoe it really means some poor pony is walking around in his socks. Q: Why did the horse cross the road? ", [BringItOnFellas' previous version here](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2dru6u/a_king_enrolled_his_donkey_in_a_race_and_won/), When Colorado Curly Bo says to Dakota Slim, "So, how'd you end up like this? 10 Terribly Funny Horse Jokes Just for Dads Share. I saw a horse … Lots of Jokes is your source for Really Funny The Horse Race Jokes, Clean The Horse Race Joke, Best The Horse Race Jokes, Free The Horse Race Jokes. Ah yes, the always ‘popular’ dad-joke. Some race horses stay in a stable. The first horse says: "You guys won't believe what happed to me in the race today! Facebook Twitter Pinterest Email. Short jokes. Every morning I get up at 5:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour cause my pee barely trickles out. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Two race horses were sitting at a bar having a few beers when one turns the other and says. They were always faster than the other horses; as a matter of fact, they were the best racehorses in the country. See TOP 10 horse jokes from collection of 37 jokes rated by visitors. WARNING: If you are not from Europe you might not get this. "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28! Man in disgust says,” Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning.” The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He’s a little hoarse. JOKES TOP 10 JOKES 4 YOUR SITE RECEIVE IN YOUR EMAIL: VISITED HORSE. After a while, Charlie decided to retire after an extremely successful career in racing. Click here for more information. Q: What do race horses eat? Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse! Doctor jokes. The collection is done, and when the pastor goes shopping, he only has enough for a donkey. Funny horse jokes. I was taking my time at the race I was like 12th or 13th not caring too much. The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. "Vodka, but I'll take the whole bottle." Page 2. List Of Best Racing Jokes. The Horse Race "Welcome to the Sunnyvale Horseracing Track, I'm your announcer Richard Small. This greyhound walks up to the two horses and says, "Scuse me but I couldn't help but overhear you guys. The Mega list of every clean horse joke out there!!! ", Just to hear punters shout, “Come on my face”. I tried horse racing … Monday jokes. If I win, they’ll have a big parade in my honor and put me in a nice pasture for the rest of my life. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem! The bartender asks him "Why the long face?" 36. The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. April … Horse Racing Joke 10 A man has a racehorse, never won a race. He gets out of bed, goes downstairs and glances at his calendar. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can’t make him... 2. JOKES BLOND YO MOMMA BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER ME THIS. More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. A horse walks into a bar. “Listen to me,” the man says, grabbing the horse by the harness. Whinny feels like it. He replies. What’s the hardest part about drag racing? Slow RaceHorse Joke. UP MY ASS! Horse in cocktail bar joke A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The second dog replies with "That's nothing, I've won fourteen of my last twenty races". The owner of a racehorse is angry. A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. “You’d better win this race or you’ll be working the farm tomorrow.”. Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Providing you do that, you'll be fine." Yay or neigh? The barman says “you can’t come in here with those trainers”. "What can I get for you?" really loudly in the horse's ear. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" The second horse immediately puts down his achievement by telling the group he's won 11 of his last 15 races. A race horse who has never won is told by his jockey that if he doesn’t win that day, he’s going to have to start pulling the milk wagon early next morning. and I won!" A horse walks into a bar. A: A nightmare!
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