When someone asks you something personal, that's none of their business, what do ... Once they give me an answer then I'd say something like well if it were any of your business I'd tell you, but since it isn't I ain't. Some people seem to think that they have a right to be rude and ask any question they want. And good to know seems okay when someone tells me something about themselves. Actually, I think any of the phrases could sound sarcastic or "bitchy" in a scenario as described above. Depends on the nature of the information that they're sharing: If it's a happy/sad general news that they're sharing about another event/person that we both are interested in, like 'Do you now John had a baby?' Notice that in the scenario, the information is "widely available". Typically in an informal situation in the UK - "Cheers" would often be an acceptable alternative to Thanks/Thank You. This question is a way to break the ice and make you feel more comfortable during the interview process.However, some people might find this—and other interview questions about you—slightly stressful. Your immediate instincts may be to go into "help mode," but the first priority in this scenario must be to make them feel heard and accepted. (maintenance details). You can say something like, "I'm really not ready to discuss this with you right now," or "I'm sorry you feel that way," or nothing at all. "good to know" is a great response -- as is "Thank you". If they're not in therapy, this is the one big thing you can do to make their life better: encourage them to seek help. Handling possibly unethical disclosures in letter of recommendation. “When someone does something to violate your identity, you might get angry. Thank you. Acknowledging that someone is being kind to you is a nice way to respond to a compliment. If you have other friends who've gone through trauma and found help â or have found it helpful yourself â this may be the time to bring that experience into the conversation. Or they've put together a proposal, but it just isn't quite right. Saying “NO!” to covert verbal abuse first requires recognizing it. I (really) appreciate your comment/response. When someone tells me something I already know, I can get defensive. This shows that you appreciate the effort they’ve made to make you feel good. However, if you have good intentions and use a polite tone, then it should be fine and you shouldn't worry. When someone says something that is slightly to totally TMI, how do you respond? disclosing trauma seems to reduce distress, laugh or smile to attempt to hide their embarrassment. Of course, it depends on the the thing they talk about. Opt-in alpha test for a new Stacks editor, Visual design changes to the review queues. Reddit, how do you respond when someone tells you something sad/personal? Trauma is a complicated thing to process, and confiding about it to someone close to them can be a big risk. What is a common failure rate in postal voting? I have just entrusted you with something important, ... Tell me that you see how hard it is and that just carrying on is an accomplishment. "Donât get overly emotional, even if the news is upsetting to you, as this is not helpful to your friend/family member," says McBain. Just leave as quickly as you can. Your comment/response was (very) informative. Learning about this person's trauma may be difficult for you because you care about them. But we can have many conflicting instincts in the moment of disclosure: to reassure the person, try to get them help, or dissociate from the experience ourselves. If the news makes you want to cry, or yell, or anything at all, it's important to save that reaction for a moment where it won't affect the person disclosing their trauma to you. According to the Sidran Institute, it's estimated that around 70 percent of adults in the United States will be exposed to a traumatic event in their lifetimes, and around 20 percent of that population will go on to develop PTSD. Anyway, you should just hang out with them, and start out by asking them if it's okay if you tell them something personal. But, if you’re looking for something to say, here are some ways to articulate that you care: “I’m here for you.” “How can I help you?” "Depending on culture, personal preference, and other factors, each of us has established what is acceptable proximity." This person might be perfect for some consensual, detached, late-night fun, but you probably shouldn’t hold your breath for this person to take you out on a date. You did whatever you had to do to survive.” “I am so sorry that you were hurt/mistreated/harmed.” “You deserve support. Let us know what you’ve learned about responding to the hurts of others. And if you accidentally overstep that, you can make someone feel uncomfortable. And if you want to be emphatic, there's nothing wrong with "Thank you very much!". How do I respond politely when someone tells me something useful? 7 comments. Someone tells you they just can't find the app they need for what they want to do. They may even laugh or smile to attempt to hide their embarrassment or normalize the situation, but that doesn't mean they don't care about what happened; just the opposite. However, there are steps you can take in the moment of disclosure to help the person who's revealing their trauma and give them the support they need. It only takes a minute to sign up. All rights reserved. 60% Upvoted. Create Distance: Give yourself some space to get use to being away from the person. Your comment/response was (very) informative. By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy. ... Tell that person you feel insulted. “I want you to know that what happened wasn’t your fault. For example, you might turn the TV off and ask your kids to play in their room. I was scheduled for a phone meeting with someone this afternoon. New comments cannot … Here are five productive ways to respond to people who seek your advice for free: 1. "They are going to need a safe place to process this trauma on a deeper level with a trained professional.". This is also a good, general response to a compliment, so you can use it whether it’s about your personality, appearance, or even work and successes. You can show you care by giving a hug, sending flowers, writing a handwritten note or offering to mow the lawn or do the laundry. For example, if your business partner was on vacation (you might have gotten an auto-email notifying about that), you can ask how it went. Being a Better Guide When Someone Tells a Story. Sharing their own reactions: "I'm so sorry, "I'm so angry," "I feel so helpless; I wish there was something I could do," or even "I don't know what to say." Does this ever happen to you? If the information is somehow obvious and it's likely that you already knew it, then it could sound sarcastic. If mutual friends inquire about your behavior, just say you have been busy. The best way to support your friend is by thanking them for trusting in you, and tell them that you're there for them in any way you can be. That takes them out of the conversation and leaves them with no control over the situation. This thread is archived. How to Respond When Someone Insults Your Convictions. When you don’t give them any response, you take away their sense of gratification. There are obviously two possibilities: Your colleague has greater knowledge. Similar to remind as above would be. When you do these things, it helps the other person feel loved and supported. site design / logo © 2021 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under cc by-sa. More casually, you could say. That said, I think they're all good, except number 3. What does the "true" visible light spectrum look like? You need an "of": thanks for reminding me of that. If you’re someone who doesn’t like bragging about yourself, these kinds of questions can be difficult to answer. ", While you may desperately want to solve this for them, you can't. Wait a few days or weeks before responding to calls and texts, and disregard personal invitations. “Sending you thoughts of love and prayer to let you know that I am here for you.” This simple message can be very impactful when sent at the appropriate time in the grieving process. The most valuable thing you can do, counselor Heidi McBain tells Bustle, is to show them that you're open to hearing it. Validating your pain: "This must be so hard for you," or "I can't begin to imagine what you're going through." The most valuable thing you can do, counselor Heidi McBain tells Bustle, is … And good to know seems okay when someone tells me something about themselves, can I use it when say someone leaves a useful comment under my post? I want to send an email back offering my condolences or thoughts to her and her family, but what's the right way to do it? However, this shows that they either haven't learned proper etiquette or simply don't care.. We've all been asked rude questions that are no one else's business. Studies have shown that disclosing trauma seems to reduce distress in people who are carrying it, and of course, we want to be there for our friends when they're having a hard time. Why is the input power of an ADS-B Transponder much lower than its rated transmission output power? Listening, not fixing, being gentle, and speaking the truth with love and wisdom are four practices that can keep you from being speechless the next time someone opens up to you. If you email someone you know or have already exchanged a couple of letters with, it may be appropriate to add some personal touch to it. If you want to sound a little more formal, you could use something like. “Hello Jennifer, I hope you and your family are doing great. save hide report. I didn't know that. Overall, when you practice your answer, you want to tell a great story about yourself that you can share in no more than two minutes. I bought a domain to do a 301 Redirect - do I need to host that domain? How does one wipe clean and oil the chain? Whether something sounds bitchy or appreciative is much more due to tone of voice. Oh yeah, thanks! Thanks for the info/information! But if you’re looking for a relationship, the booty call is not the one to pursue. Is the empty set empty in all models of set theory? "Stress the importance of therapy to them," says McBain. Is it more helpful in any way to worship multiple deities? In your response, do the following: 1. But with the right support, it can also be a wonderful experience. After Centos is dead, What would be a good alternative to Centos 8 for learning and practicing redhat? "Listen to what they have to say," she says, "and show empathy and compassion toward them and what they have been through." It’s not only acceptable but encouraged to send these types of messages to your partner or spouse to let them know that you love and support them. if they talk about funny you are suppose to hear it and if it is the thing you found funny you will smile or more laugh… If it is something serious you are suppose to hear attentively and then respond according to that…….. 40 views Now when someone tells you something bad or good going on in his or her life, you can respond with the compassion you would have liked to receive today.” I told her it might be a good idea to make a pledge of what she’s going to do, as Kari mentioned in her article. You … Thank you. I think a simple "thanks" is polite enough. Understanding just how vulnerable the process of storytelling can be will make you a better guide when you are helping other people tell their stories. If your friend or family member strongly resists therapy for this reason or any other reason, McBain says, "give examples from your own life about how it was helpful to you, if possible." How to respond: If a hook-up buddy isn’t what you’re seeking, then make it … The number one thing that people want to know once they've trusted you with this information, McBain tells Bustle, is that "what they have told you has not changed the way you see them or how you feel about them." Again, be careful, as it might sound rude or condescending. Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers. When somebody has revealed something very challenging, it's a mark of their faith in you. share. If someone says something that really upsets you, call them out on it or get a teacher involved. When we ask someone to share their story, it can be an extraordinary ask. In writing, how to politely tell someone not to repeat something? If you want to sound a little more formal, you could use something like.
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